The Story of the Squirrels

My dad has a way of telling a story and this past week he sent me a story about his opinion of squirrels and how they mess with us. I hope you enjoy it.

We all know that squirrels are having a joke on the human race. We see them in the roads most of the year, crossing right in front of us as we are driving along the roads. This causes many people to hit their brakes or get mad at the poor little rodents ... they’re only squirrels after all.
However, you must pay attention. We all know in the very depth of our minds that they are waiting for us, testing their skills at getting across the street without being squashed! They wait by the curb, jumping back and forth with excitement, pretending they don’t know what to do. Then they rush forward at the last minute, stop halfway across the street and then madly dash the rest of the way. I know, that as these devilish creatures careen before us, cheating death, there are other squirrels on the side of the road cheering them on and giving them high fives when they reach safety. I am even of the opinion that there is always one squirrel nearby that wears a checkered vest and cocked hat who lays odds for the other squirrels and has a large bag of acorns for pay out or pay in.

The other day I was driving up the street on the way home and there was a squirrel further ahead of me in the middle of the road, coming towards me. I think he was challenging me, coming forward, stopping, coming forward again; straight down the middle of the road. It was like he was scoffing at my manliness, at all humankind manliness. I was having none of it! I would not chicken out ... my hands tightened on the wheel as my breath quickened. I did not slow and steered straight down the middle of the road. He continued forward ... was he really that tough? I could feel the perspiration on my brow, and then at the very last moment, even as I expected to feel a bump beneath my tire, he darted to the side of the road, to safety!

I was relieved, but I know that briefly out of the corner of my eye, I saw the flash of a checkered vest and two squirrels behind a shrub cheering .